Inappropriate? All the time, baby.

So, here's the thing. I have a knack for saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, laughing, whatever, at the wrong time. It's a gift, or a curse, it depends really. It's hilarious sometimes.

I mean, I have an unlimited number of examples here, so here's one... At the beginning of this year I was 'seeing' this guy. I don't really know if that's the appropriate word for it because it was basically him alternating between being a douchebag and making me feel guilty for thinking he was a douchebag. Anyway, I was dramatic about it, it was hilarious, and it all blew up a mere month later through text messages. Basically, he talked about bleeding for sins and other dramatic crap and accused me of being an alcoholic. I informed him that he wasn't Jesus and then proceeded to prove him wrong about the alcoholic thing by 'celebrating' at a bar with a couple of my nearest and dearest. Clearly it was a very mature... thing... because we both declared we were 'done' in the great tradition of Ron and Sammi from Jersey Shore. Except without the constant getting back together. You know your life is awesome when... Woo!

Anyway, in the early stages, well before it got stressful, I was chilling in his dorm room and he was playing the guitar. I let my mind wander, as you do, and then suddenly cracked myself up. Which was fine, but then I decided to share what made me laugh. Basically, I thought of that Kiss cartoon, or movie, or whatever it was, where they made the Berlin Wall fall with the magical powers of their instruments. These instruments emitted lightening or something. Please tell me that someone else remembers this because everyone thinks I'm crazy. But yeah, it was a hilarious image. Unfortunately, it didn't amuse him, which was probably some sort of sign.

Okay, so what about in London? Oh, it still happens all the time. All. The. Time. Like, this past weekend when I went to the Lord Mayor's Show. My friends and I were hanging out at the start, as you do, looking at the cute coppers, hanging out by the police line, waving to Australia House, etc. In London they block off streets for parades like a machine. Barriers, police tape, patrolling police, the whole nine yards. None of that, "Please don't cross - oh you're crossing anyway, okay, well, next time please don't cross!" stuff you see in Halifax. You were not crossing, and that's final.

This guy? Surprisingly absent.

Except Special Snowflakes don't really think the rules apply to them, so people still demanded to be allowed across and then the police officers, and perhaps Gandalf [occasionally, or not at all since he's imaginary], had to lay down the law. It really wasn't as bad as it sounded. Right up until a few minutes before the floats started to leave, you could cross about 10 metres up the street. Clearly this was too far for one woman because she merely huffed and stayed with us when told she'd have to *gasp* walk to the proper crossing spot. Do these people jay walk? Like, I don't get the problem.

Anyway, things got worse when they closed the barriers and started to inform people that they would have to walk ages along the parade route in order to find a place to cross. The indignant people were piling up!

Now, at the same time, there was a wedding taking place, in the middle of the parade route. Along comes what appears to be a bridesmaid, a flower girl, and several other family and friends, looking to cross so they can make it to the wedding in time. The police let them across the police tape because come on, wedding.

Remember that huffing and puffing lady? Yeah, she flipped her lid. Hilariously flipped her lid. Like, she wasn't making any sense. She calls over a police officer and proceeds to lose her mind.

"YOU SAID NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO CROSS. HOW COME THEY GET TO CROSS?"

The police officer was like, "Those were my orders ma'am, I don't know why they were allowed to cross but my boss let it happen so..."

Then she goes, "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET ACROSS? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME CROSS? DO I NEED A SIGN TO CROSS?"

Hahahahahahahaha, what? No one, at any point in this encounter, had a sign. Like, why, of all things, would a sign be the magical key to get across the street? At this point point I lost it and started to giggle hysterically. This did not help the police officer, as the woman was standing right behind me and he had to look at me to talk to her. Eventually he got her calmed down and she stormed off to find a way to cross the street.

Luckily she didn't decide to scream at me because I could not control the laughter.

And there you go. I couldn't have an appropriate reaction to something to save my life.

Oh well.

<3 Jade

P.S. Guys? Gals? Homo Sapiens? Here's the thing... I know someone out there is reading this because in the past couple of weeks I went from one or two page views to... a whole lot. I love you and want you to leave comments if you're so inclined. Please? <3