Nerd attack!

So, here's the thing. My name is Jade, and I am crazy nerdy. Like, really, really nerdy. Back home in Canada one of my all time favourite ways to pass the time was 'people speculating' with one of my best friends. Seriously. We would spend hours discussing people, their motives for certain actions, why we think they did this or that, what we think they might do in the future based on their past actions. I blame it on the anthropology training I've had because I'm pretty sure that 'normal' people do not spend hours discussing people. 

You can tell I'm a nerd just by looking at my blog. I call myself 'Thalia Rex'. The Mesozoic is the age of the dinosaurs, which is when a T. Rex would have lived, had babies, and eventually been a casualty of the Earth's mid life crisis. Seriously, it went seriously emo there for a bit and started to BLEED LAVA [Haha, a professor used that analogy in my dinosaurs class and I still crack up when I think about it] and then it got hit by meteors and basically it was a bad scene for a couple of million years. How do I know this? Because I'm also an evolution nerd.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some stories that show just how crazy nerdy I am. 

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So, on Halloween I ended my evening in an empty bar, drowning my scratched up and bruised knee sorrows in mojitos. You know who's a captive audience at an empty bar? The bartender. I spent a good chunk of time giving him history lessons. 'History with Jade' is hilarious because it's a little like how Eddie Izzard tells history, and because I have three stories that I like to tell over and over again. 'The time America tried to invade Canada so we burnt down their president's house and that's why they call it a White House', 'The time Canada decided to revolt and it took place in a  tavern and everyone was drunk' and, 'The time Canada made a hospital room part of the Netherlands so now they send us tulips every year'. I always like to play up the most hilarious aspects of history during my lessons. Like, the only guy who was arrested at the Canadian revolution in Upper Canada was the guy who showed up late because he slept in. The other drunks got away. The guy that set the White House on fire was a Nova Scotian. We swept through and took an awful lot of land before England was all, 'Give that back, seriously. Canada, don't be a jerk.' 

SEE, I'm doing it again. Like, I can not stop myself from spewing out random facts all the time. It's like some sort of tick. That poor bartender. If I were him I would have spit in my drink. 

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I'm crazy about evolution. I just think it's so much fun. I also quite enjoy reading missed connections on Craig's List or Kijiji or whatever. So, whenever I'm bored in lovely London I read missed connections and platonic friendship ads. I think missed connections are the funniest. Usually it's something like, "I was in the underground. You were wearing a black coat! You had blue eyes! I smiled at you." Right. That could be one of several people. Sometimes they're a little better and the person will be all, "I'll know it's you if you can tell me the logo on your shopping bag!" Hahahaha. I love it! I can't get enough.

Anyway, the other day I stumbled onto a platonic friendship ad that asked if a turtle without a shell is naked or homeless. Okay, so, a turtle without a shell is dead. No, seriously. The scutes, or scales, are its skin, and the shell itself is an extension of the turtle's RIBS and BACKBONES. Now, if I rip out your ribs are you going to continue living? No, of course not. We all know what happened on that episode of True Blood where Russell ripped out the news anchor's spine. [Fun fact: Turtles are also from the Mesozoic, just like dinosaurs! Woo!] 

This is how the turtle sees you.

So, I totally e-mailed the guy and pointed this out to him. Not surprisingly, he didn't e-mail me back. For obvious reasons. I'm a buzzkill, I'm crazy, who responds to a rhetorical question anyway?

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Another thing that amuses me greatly is Omegle. I have spent hours on that website annoying strangers. My favourite question? 'What came first, the chicken or the egg?'  I also like to annoy the Creationists on that site by just spouting off every evolution fact I can think of before they close the window, but that question is by far my favourite. I seriously hate the philosophical answers that come from chicken verses egg questions and I would actually seriously consider marrying the guy who could answer the question using biology. Basically, the type of egg that chickens lay came first. The hard shelled  [amniotic] egg that protected the embryos from the elements and allowed everything after amphibians to move inland was evolved sometime in the Carboniferous. Aves, or birds, evolved from a theropod lineage. Theropods  [T. Rexes are theropods] first appeared in the Triassic. Several millions of years happened between the two!

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Yeah, so, there you go. Some examples of just how nerdy I am. Love me anyway? 

(: 

<3 Jade 

P.S. Here's Daniel Radcliffe being nerdy! Love it!